Monday, July 16, 2012

Adding a third wheel

Lewis and Clark (and their Canoe)

There's a big life adjustment hanging in the wings.  Not the good kind.  Maybe?  Maybe it's not all bad, either.

We're getting housemates.  Again.

When Patrick and I first met, we lived in a band/party house with several other people.  It was a fluctuating number, but some things were constants: one shared bathroom, cranky times, and general shenanigans.  But we were in undergrad.  That's sort of the point of that time in life -- and *somehow* we ended up staying friends with everyone we lived with, even though there were considerable lengths of time when we didn't think that would be the case.

But after undergrad, we moved out, got our own blissfully alone apartment in a refurbished warehouse.  This was in 2009.  Even though it’s only been three and a half years since we stopped living with other people, it feels like several lifetimes.  A lot has happened; a lot of growing up, a lot of life and living, getting married, getting dogs, buying a home.  Our home.  Which we will now be sharing with two more people.  Chunk.  That’s the sound of a stick being poked through the spokes of a turning wheel.

It feels complicated to have this looming on the August horizon.  On one hand, there’s the nagging “this isn’t where we thought our lives would be this summer” mantra.  That mantra has been played many times this summer, ad nauseum.  Does it feel like an emotional kick in the teeth to rent out what would have been a nursery?  Yes.  Of course.  These were not the intended tenants.  And this is my house now.  I don’t really want to share.  Honestly.  I think Maddie says it best: a roommate completely eliminates the freedom of being able to walk around your apartment naked, a privilege I felt I'd earned.


It’s only for six months (at least for now).  And it means having a solid bit of money to sock away in savings, whether it’s for medical purposes (likely) and/or our business plan, which is a little further down the road, but requires purchasing some wooded land.

So on one hand, it feels like while everyone else gets to pass Go and collect $200, we’re backtracking a little in life (pity party!).  But it also feels kind of good to have a Plan.  We will be socking away money for something worthwhile, so while we might suffer a bit in the short term, long-term it feels like this is a pretty good 6-month situation, given the lack of other money-making opportunities.

I’m a little nervous because these aren’t current friends moving in, but that’s also kind of good, because it takes away the pressure of making sure we stay friends and don’t step on toes and blah blah blah.  Having a slight wall of relationship separation seems like a good thing this time around.  They’re young and engaged and like Futurama and Regretsy (things we stated were good in our Craigstlist ad – finding housemates is like platonic dating, these things are important).   (I did discover through Facebook lurking that the chicka can converse about ecofeminism and knows what "cis" means -- so I'm actually feeling extremely optimistic about people getting along juuuuust fine.)

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