I mean, I'm a huge homebody. I lack directional awareness and am so terrible with maps that it's laughable. I'm in the midst of a drawn-out medical/life issue with my husband. One of our favorite activities together was grocery shopping, we were that into hanging out and just living life together. I own a home back in Richmond. My family is there. If I can learn to do it, you could learn to do it. I mean that kindly, honestly, in a "Lady/Dude, you are so much more capable of doing things than you think you are. Really. Truly."
That or I am so stupid and don't even know the extent to which I am yet. Always possible! But I like to think that I'm actually doing okay, despite the long bouts of writing through tough stuff and the wallowing from time to time. I'm slowly venturing out and went out for drinks the other night. Haven't gotten lost in about three weeks. Am chatting a lot online with Patrick and hashing through various financial/IVF/adoption scenarios, making communication work however we can.
I feel like being positive today so I'm just going to say look, you can do it, you could do it, grab the bull by the horns and do it, and most importantly, don't. look. back. I've gotten three separate calls for interviews from libraries in Richmond since moving here, one of which was for a job I hadn't even applied for but I'd interviewed for another position with them a few months back and they apparently liked me enough to keep me on file even if I didn't get that job, and I turned them all down. I'm here. It's done. I'm doing this, period. If anything, the hardest thing has been turning down those chances to go back home, to keep our house, to go back to Patrick, but they're fleeting chances, they're ideas, they aren't real, and I've committed to this, and most importantly, I love this job. I've got a great thing here. No turning back.
If I can learn to do it, you can learn to do it. Just be brave.