Friday, January 11, 2013

Foggy Blue Ridge

Foggy days driving around the Blue Ridge Parkway are nice, but nicer still is the act of going inside and drinking tea.  I haven't done much in the way of projects so far this year.  Alt-IF: Alternative Infertility Voices is still tumbling along, and I'm slowly building my wordcount on a few stories I'm writing, and I've read two books so far this year, but I've found that counter to what one might think, having all this free time in which I could spend time working on Codecademy or my writing is largely spent doing unproductive things like watching Always Sunny and eating granola-peanut butter by the spoon.  I'm hoping this case of the Unproducts will pass once I'm a little less stressed about the sheer cost of moving, the loneliness of not having Patrick around, and such.  In other words, hopefully balance will bring back some pep.  Two more weeks and we will have made it three months apart, and all will be over.

Three months is a long-ass time to be apart.  When combined with the time we spent living in our house with the pregnant housemates we acquired to pay for infertility treatments (that that happened is still so appallingly Shakespearean to me, tragi-comic), it will have been about seven months since we last simply lived in a place, just by ourselves, alone.  Looking back, we were totally insane to acquire housemates.  It drove me a leeeeettle into major sad-land.  Leaving had a lot of drawbacks (obviously), but having some space was a huge gift that I'm still glad I gave myself permission to take.  I have always been the one building treehouses, hiding in closets to read books alone, and trying to build my own lock for my doors when I was a tween, so it should have been glaringly obvious to me that I needed the headspace bad.  So self, you did the right thing for your mental health.  Hooray!  Self preservation and respect of one's basic honest needs = important.

I'm still glad I took the job here, even if we'd been living alone prior to this whole situation. I'm very, very glad to work someplace that brings me joy so that in the morning, I am happy to go to work (that feeling = AMAZING).  I'm very, very glad to be able to pay my student loan bills.  I am so very glad to start over someplace that, while not hipster Richmond, is not totally awful, either.  It is close enough to still see people sometimes.  And more than anything, in two short weeks, I will be happy to truly start starting over as a team with Patrick here.  It feels like I've been only half starting this adventure.  With the team back together again, it'll feel more real and more like an adventure, rather than something to get through.  ONWARD!

1 comment:

  1. What gorgeous pictures! And I am so glad that Patrick will be Roanoke bound very shortly.