Things are pretty low-key around here this year, and at first it felt sucky, but the more I think about it, the more okay it is.
I show people I care by getting them gifts. I love shopping for people, and will happily create little lists all year of possible ideas on my "secret shopping" Amazon list. Unfortunately, this year the IVF + having to secure a new apartment this month = massively broke over here. It's truly a bummer, and selfishly it feels like more of a bummer for me than the people on the receiving end! I just love buying people stuff!
So anyway. I'm ~coping~ with this horrible holiday setback. I got my cards, dagnabbit, and some random gifts I (thankfully) bought for people earlier in the year. I feel bad about allocating a sad $10 to my mom, because she's my mom and I want to buy her all the lovely things she deserves, but alas. I'm just going to have to make the $10 count. But man, all these holiday shopping guides are getting me down! It's making me feel bad!
On the flip-side, at least it's making me value the things I do have all the more. There aren't a lot of parties to go to (being that I live 3 hours away from my closest friends -- which I know is not a lot compared to some, but it's a lot to me) but there's a potential get-together with a few folks later in the month, and little things like that mean a lot to me. This season is certainly better than last year, where I was living all alone, having just moved for a new job and left my husband to live in our house and sort things out. I'm trying not to beat myself up too much this season, even if I feel bad about a rather small gift-buying ability, even if I live far away, because at least this year my husband is here, my dogs are both here, we have an actual (fake) tree with our ornaments on it, etc. We're together, and that's better than last year's depressing-palooza.
So. Small gifts. Lots of love. It'll be just fine.