Thursday, August 7, 2014

An email came for my uterus, sort of

I got an email from my IVF clinic yesterday reminding me of when my embryo cryobank "rent" is due.  I wonder if this is how parents feel when college housing rent is due.  Probably not, seeing as how it's for an existing child and the rent is for more than keeping them viable...  Although considering the college atmosphere, maybe it's more similar to that than I initially thought.  College housing is pretty much about preserving as much of the person intact for four years as possible, right?  Like, better than off-campus housing could guarantee.  I should know.  I lived in a goth industrial band house for part of college.  What's the movie called?  Safety Not Guaranteed?  That could have been the name of that house.  Instead it was called The Nightmare House, which was just as appropriate really.  (Man, college!)

But where was I?  Right, so rent is due in November.  Not a ton of money -- less than 100EU, which is ridiculously decent for a year's worth of cushy cryobank luxury living.  Granted I'm sure the square footage is nothing to brag about...

Then I got to the part of the email that explains my options should I want to do something with the embryo -- use it for treatment, dispose of it, etc.  I'm holding this little newborn and the problem is that I LOVE THE NEWBORN STAGE WITH THIS BABY.  I love it.  I want all the babies.  Gimme gimme gimme.  I know I got a comparatively easy baby, so maybe I just want doubles of this baby...but anyway, then I get some dumb reminder email telling me, hey hi you have to, like, make a decision someday about what to do with the possible other potential baby you could have, if you want to do this whole dumb expensive procedure again.  Or you could dispose of your embryo.  And of course I'm like POTENTIAL BAYBEEEEEE WAHHHH.

I starred the email like I do for all bills and Important Things To Get To Later.  I guess I'm starring it in a literal sense (gotta remember to pay that rent!) and in the sense that it's Future Hayley's problem, and that decision can wait for now.  It can wait for a while.  It really can.

The main takeaway here is that it's really weird to get reminder emails about your family planning options.  Really weird.


  1. Solidarity. A year after Frances was born, I got a bill in the mail for the storage of the other vial of sperm that had bought in a buy one/get one half off deal with the vial that made Frances. It was so weird. Oh, right, there is another potential 100% related to Frances baby that could be made. We ended up disposing of it. We're 99% not having another, and that 1% chance wouldn't be exercised until Frances was in public preschool and we weren't paying for daycare, and I just couldn't afford to pay $300/year for 3+ years for a very tenuous maybe. Not exactly the same as with IVF, but still it's weird and causes all sorts of feelings, which I really get.

    1. It IS just so weird -- it's like, there's this decision that's already out there, tangible and possible, rather than just an idea. It's like one step in the process has already been made, so it's not just a "hmm, should we have another?" question when the ingredients are already obtained and in the fridge, so to speak. It's that aching tenuous maybe indeed. <3