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Monday, September 22, 2014

Letter to Self



10 comments:

  1. Very, very good point. But for the record I love you and know that our friendship is really actually REAL!

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    1. Aw. <3

      See and this is when I love the Internet. Because it facilitates real-ness. It just gets so confusing sometimes, you know? Like, I want to make myself get out of the self-induced hermit-like state that I often button myself into like a sweater, but it's so easy to just...not! It's bad for me. :( I always feel more self-absorbed when I Internet too much. Which is definitely a problem, I think because the Internet makes it easy to funnel all of my interests into one long stream of consumption.

      I am wine-ing so there is that if this comment is ridiculous at later viewing.

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    2. Haha always good to give a "wine disclosure."

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    3. More sober Hayley: Basically, I'm a better friend when I'm not Internetting. And I need to get better at remembering that, both for my benefit and the benefit of others. (Lest this post be taken as passive-aggressive! Which it is not!)

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  3. Man, it's so hard to find the balance right? Because I get so much support from the internet and have real life friends now that were once "internet friends", but it's good to get off the internet too and interact with the real world. No idea what the answer is, but I think both internet and "real life" are good.

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    1. Dammit my phone ate my reply. Basically I feel like I just fall into passive participation patterns and too often realize I haven't actually interacted with a friend offline in forever. And both are good, but I think it's easy for me to lean towards online interaction too often, and then I get sad, and it's my fault for being lazy with my friendships sometimes. Gotta work on that!

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    1. Internet is good, it's just bad for me when I use it as a crutch, I think. Then I get all melancholy and melodramatic. ;)

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  5. I think the internet can be a great place to connect with each other, but I think it does have the potential to harm already existing, "real life" (is there a word for this that isn't so dismissive of online friendships?) friendships if you're not mindful. I quit Facebook a while back when I realized that even though it *felt* like I'd been in touch with good friends, communicating on a regular basis, it had actually been quite a while since I'd directly communicated with some of them. We were reading each other's news feeds and looking at each other's pictures, but not actually having a relationship. We'd become...mutual, passive observers of each other's lives, I guess. I didn't just want to know what was happening, I wanted to share directly. When I quit Facebook, some of my friendships revitalized...and some sort of slipped away as we fell out of touch with each other. All that to say, I'm still online, and I still think the internet is an amazing place and that online friendships can be as real and sustaining as face-to-face friendships, if they're done right. Just because something needs careful, deliberate handling doesn't make it a bad thing.

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