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Monday, April 6, 2015

Matryoshka



I bought that sewing machine and I still haven't taken it out of the box.

The Amazon box it came in through the mail, I should add.  So really, there are two boxes I haven't opened -- the big Amazon box holding the smaller sewing machine in its box....I've achieved the matryoshka doll level of apathy.

It's not that I'm apathetic though, not really.  I want to learn to make stuff!  I'm just so tired.  But not opening a "present" I bought myself is probably a new low.  Do babies give you mono?  That must be it.



Matryoshka print by SandraSuarez

3 comments:

  1. You are doing the thing that I did after A was born. I was happy to have him yes, but ahughahh it was so hard to give up all these parts of my self. I wanted to do personal projects, and remember the Advent Calendar fund raiser for Syrian Refugees? I kept scheming up all of these things for myself to do because I was so sure I could still fit them in and it was like I was refusing to submit to gravity, and I was constantly driving myself crazy and feeling like failure. But you have a less than one year old and a full time job after not very much mat leave. You are still not sleeping through nights or getting enough sleep, and didn't you just get sugery? Give yourself a break and try to relax. There will be plenty of time for quilting in a year or three. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to be all the things. I might be projecting here, but I suspect not.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah -- it's like, I'm doing good work at work all day and I get home and just FLOPPITY FLOP because doing all the Important Stuff eats up the energy I used to have reserved for hobbies. Oh my god, I used to ride horses! I used to drive an hour to much stalls at a horse rescue! FOR FUN. And now it's like all the hobby energy got transferred to baby-energy and any surplus goes into Job Energy (because I have to workit-workit, I don't like to just be okay, I need to go the distance, etc) -- which leaves me ordering sewing machines and then using the boxes as extra space to flat-dry my shirts...

      <3 Thank you for reminding me that this is within the realm of normal. I need to forgive myself if relaxing isn't what it used to be -- like, relaxing was driving an hour and mucking stalls and now I think of that and want to diiiiiie because that sounds like the opposite of relaxing now! So I just have to shift gears a little and, like, relax on the couch and not feel like a failure. <3

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